you traded sex for a burrito?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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