I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
