walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
