you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
