You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
