is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
