I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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