Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
