Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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