Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
