i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
