so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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