i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
