did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I want to fling myself into the sun
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
