ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
