Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
