So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize