you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
