Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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