I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i out mim tonsoeep
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