i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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