im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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