did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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