who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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