Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
