Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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