Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
