the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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