Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
