was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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