the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My dick has a subreddit
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
