my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
