Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
COCAINE IS GR8
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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