You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize