i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
