just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
