sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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