Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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