Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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