Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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