did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
