Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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