something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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