Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
