ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
