In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
