This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
A bitchslap is in order.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
