I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
