my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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