We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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