It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
