Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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