we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
