It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
