I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
