That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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