On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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