"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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