He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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