if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize