I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
