Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
