i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
