We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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