Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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