I need help removing her.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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