your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I bet he comes in French.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
